HORSE helps me out about my stress because they make me think hard and problem solve my aggression. – Dean age 13

 

I have learned a lot from being in the HORSE program. I have a bad situation at home and feel that I am often picked on by my step-father. I have had a lot of trouble getting along with him and HORSE has helped me think about some of the things that I can do to get along better with him and the rest of my family. I try and use ideas that I have gotten from working with the horses to working with him. I have been in HORSE for about 5 weeks and for the first time in a long time, I didn't get in trouble for two weeks in a row. – Tim age 15

 

The H.O.R.S.E. program has helped me in many ways. I feel good and happy when I'm riding. I'm learning how to deal with people and how to become more confident. I'm also learning patience and how to keep trying if something doesn't go the way I want it to. It is fun to learn how to build a friendship with an animal. I'm also learning how to groom a horse and put on saddles and bridles. It's great to have Stacie and Brenda to talk to. I really trust them a lot. I'm happy to be part of the H.O.R.S.E. program. - Andrea age 12

 

Zach's Story

When Zach, age 8, came to H.O.R.S.E. he was locked in his own shell, he was fascinated with the frogs, kitties and even dirt on the farm but interaction with us was difficult. He wasn't interested as much in the horses either because we asked him to pick up brushes and groom them. He didn't want to touch the brushes or the horse. He gave little to no eye contact, communicated in one word answers, and basically did as little interaction as possible. After a few months in the H.O.R.S.E. Focus, here is what Zach's mother had to say:

I was reading the paper, back in early summer, and saw an article about H.O.R.S.E. I had heard about the type of therapy they talked about, but hadn't really investigated it. I was curious and looked up the web site, read about the treatment and how the horses were used to help kids with different problems.

My son is diagnosed with Asperger's Autism and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. His first year was very violent and not at all stable. When we got Zach at 8 months, he had been thru a lot. We adopted him, because we wanted to make sure he got the home and help that all kids deserve.

At the time I read the article, we were between therapists, since ours had moved out of state. We were having a few recurring behavior problems and I thought, “Maybe this might work.”

You never really know what is going to work or not. Play therapy had been helpful, but talk therapy had gone nowhere. I called and set up our first appointment, a little doubtful, but with a small hope that something in this might break thru to him. Stacie explained the program to me and Brenda said that it could be awhile before we saw any changes. I told her I knew not to expect miracle, but maybe……….

One afternoon after going to therapy at H.O.R.S.E. for a couple of months, my son came flying into the house and plopped himself into my lap. He had fallen and had come so I could fix the hurt. Now to most people, this is normal behavior in a child when they have hurt themselves. This was the first time EVER that Zach had done this. Before, when he was hurt, he would just come tell me, and I might or might not get to help him. To me this was a small miracle. He wanted me to help and hold him. Other families have bedtime rituals. Zach would just say he was tired and my husband would read him a story and he would go to sleep. No touching, no hugging, no kiss goodnight. That was his ritual. He come one night and said “Good Night”, then he gave me this shy little hug, then he went and did the same with my husband. Now it doesn't happen every night, but it is happening. Zach is reaching out.I know this sounds small to most people, but it is HUGE to my husband and me. Our Zach is finding a way to us. We have a long way to go, but we are moving ahead now.

 

Rachel's Story

In November of 2004, Ann wrote us the following story about her daughter's experience in HORSE Partnership Naturally (HPN). HPN is a program that teaches horsemanship while emphasizing life skills such as problem solving, emotion identification and control, relationship skills, decision making, improves self confidence and self esteem. This is the story:

As the mother of an adopted daughter diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, I am watchful for experiences that might strengthen the healing that is taking place in her life. She had expressed interest in horses, but I was reluctant to try “just” a riding program that might not allow fore her special needs. When we found H.O.R.S.E., it seemed like a natural. My daughter has benefited greatly from the structure and success that this program provides. Each session builds on the previous one, so skills develop at a comfortable pace. The knowledgeable staff does not let her use the behaviors that have impeded her progress in the past, such as displays of helplessness, or passive and overt attempts at control. Communication is easy and open among us all, another plus.

Two outstanding benefits have emerged from this program. The first is obvious. This child, who once was detached, frightened, and full of rage, now shows pride, grace and confidence with the horses. The other benefit has been a surprise. On our trips to and from sessions, she has opened up about her past life and the experiences that have caused her pain. We are able to discuss these experiences with little to distract us, and her healing is strengthened in the way as well. Finding H.O.R.S.E. and Brenda and Stacie has been a significant positive in our lives.

Ann Sinclair – mother of 12 year old girl

Update: Since that time, Rachel, has continued in our program. Although technically she continues in HPN, and her horse skills have blossomed, the neatest thing is Rachel's continued personal growth. In a large sense, Rachel has crossed the lines between HORSE Talk and HPN. HORSE Talk is HORSE's program that is pure psychotherapy -with the help of the horses of course. Rachel has continued to demonstrate increased self confidence, self esteem, better social skills, improved decision making and problem solving skills. Additionally, however, she has opened up not only to her mother but also to us as we work with the horses and begin the process of healing her tragic history prior to adoption.

 

Betty's Story

Dear Stacie and Brenda,

The most amazing thing happened after Betty's horse sessions last week!

After lessons Betty and I went to the grocery store. During our drive to the store we were talking about what she did well during lessons. She was very proud of herself and what she had accomplished during her lesson that day. I could feel the increase in her personal energy and confidence.

When we got to the store she then did something she has never done, she asked if she could help me shop. I quickly replied, “ Absolutely, what would you like to do?” She explained to me that she wanted to go and get her own shopping cart I told her that she would have to go back out to the front of the store and get the cart herself. She said O.K. and skipped off in her little pink cowboy boots and retrieved her own shopping cart. ( Of course I was watching the entire time, without her noticing ) This was such a big step for her to leave my side in a public place. In the past she would have just cried for lack of confidence to go and get what she wanted.

I am blown away, in just a couple sessions she is already transforming from the shy little girl who is picked on, beat-up, and won't stand up for herself, toward the strong and self-confident person I know she is!

Thanks for everything you do! The H.O.R.S.E. Program is critical for Betty's future!

Sincerely,

Michelle

Mother of Betty (6 year old girl)

 

Lori's Story

Nov 9, 2004

To Juvenile Office, ( Lexington , Missouri )

I'm Marie, Lori's Mom. I received a phone call from you asking if I would write a letter concerning the H.O.R.S.E. program.

I'm very happy to; The Lady's that we saw were very professional. Everything was confidential. We weren't allowed to set in on the 1 hour sessions that Lori received 1 or 2 weekly.

Lori choose a horse, this horse was her project. Each visit Lori was given 1 problem to solve which had something to do with the horse.

I feel it has changed Lori's out look on things.

She now thinks trhings through before acting. She sets goals. She knows for every act there are counter acts.

Lori's grades have improved. No more fights and no more runaways. My husband and I think that H.O.R.S.E. program has made a world of difference; Lori was heading down the wrong path.

Now she is a junior in high school, plays in the band and goes to Vo-tech.

Hopefully this letter will help more kids to receive this help. We Thank God, someone told us.

Sincerely Yours,

Marie

PS. Lori wants to write a letter too.

To Juvenile Office,

I'm Lori, I once took horse therapy. It helped me a lot by taking task and solving them by taking and breaking down the task and figuring it out. It helps teens think threw these task and it helps them when they have a problem to think threw before what they do. These women who do this are great people and are a positive role to teens. I would recommend any troubled teen to horse therapy. I want to thank them for helping me out because they were a great help in my life. And I want to thank the juvenile office for going threw this with me.

Thank you,

Lori

*all names in this letter have been changed to protect confidentiality.

 

Nancy 's Story

My story of trial begins at the age of twelve when I was raped by my Tae Kwon Do instructor for six months. After that I met a series of sexual predators who harassed me. When my mom found out, she punished me verbally and emotionally. For the next four years of my life, I indulged in self destructive activities and was in hospitals throughout the country. The only comfort I had was my horse, and when the danger and neglect became so bad in my mom's house, I finally ran away and stayed with my dad. My mom would not let me have my horse, so that comfort was taken away from me and I had no unconditional love to soothe my heartache until social services got me into Stacy's horse program where I found companions in their horses, and not only the horses. I found life long friends and guides through my therapists: Stacy and Brenda.

I went from cutting myself twice a day to not at all thanks to Stacy and Brenda's horse therapy. Their genuine faith in me and clever techniques with horses has helped turn my life around to healthy and constructive ways to cope with what life brings. I am now no longer a prisoner of my fear, but a master of my destiny. Throughout all the time, effort, compassion, and long suffering they have endured with me in session, I have to say that it is all the times they spent energy to heal my agony outside of session that I remember most. That is what makes Stacy and Brenda such unique therapists. They spent time with me even though they weren't being paid for it; all the hours they spent talking with me when I was there to assist them with the horses is what really convinced me that these intelligent ladies do care about people, and they are not there for the money. They truly enjoy helping people, and I will always thank them for their efforts in my life. God bless you and your horses, Stacy and Brenda.

Nancy – 17 year old

 

*Ashley's Story

An extraordinary light has gone out from my little girl's eyes. In photo's, you can see that light which drew in strangers and delighted friends and family. Ashley's other parent endures a serious mental illness. The mental illness and his reaction to it has transformed all our daily lives into a jagged, disruptive, exhausting and confusing event. At this time, it is unclear whether the light was extinguished by sexually inappropriate behavior or simply from the ravages of continually breathing in a twisted reality from her daddy. Whatever the reason, the light is gone and I mourn its disappearance. My child is injured, a subtle insidious wound festers and forms its aberrations on a beautiful growing soul. For nearly two years before the light disappeared, Ashley awoke each day with a smile on her face. She would look around the room and say, "Mommy, it's a beautiful day!! Let's go!!!!" That exuberant mirth and joy was replaced by fear, distrust and a sad wide-eyed look at the world. Complicating the issue is her exceptional intellect. All parents like to believe their child is smart. At first, Stacie and Brenda accepted my statement that Ashley was VERY bright as something all parents say; in working with Ashley they have come to understand that her intelligence and perceptive skills well exceed a seven year old level. The intellect and perception are partially why she needs their help.

Stacie and Brenda instruct and influence Ashley in amazing, multifaceted ways. Working with horses, their power, beauty and unpredictability has truly pulled Ashley into the work. She is terrified on a regular basis, and then conquers the fears by meeting challenges and building trust. My daughter's world was unraveling beneath her when I found HORSE. Conventional resources were not accurately defining her issues or meeting her needs to reframe her world. I do the best can, but I can't do it all. She was swinging in the wind when Stacie and Brenda agreed to work with her despite her young age and small stature. We drove to the Higginsville location so that Ashley could work with Buddy, a Shetland pony. I remain perpetually impressed by the strength and power of these two women. Watching them work is great. They meld in lessons, challenges and issues while sharing their love of horses. Understanding animals, consistently caring for them, taking responsibility and problem solving are basic to Ashley's experience. Occasionally her issues are nicely punctuated and Ashley has to face herself to move ahead. Which she is learning how to do. I have happily given up cable TV and housecleaning help to come here. Initially, I had no clue we would end up as continuing clients. I am blessed to have HORSE as a resource for my daughter and myself. Ashley is laying some excellent foundations for the rest of her life. Stacie and Brenda help me "tweak" my parenting role. I am thrilled to have their observations. It's not always comfortable, but so worthwhile . They are extremely tactful, and I do ask them for the tweaking. Meanwhile, Ashley is learning horses, self confidence, boundaries, self perception and host of positive attributes. She may be at the dawning of a lifelong love of horses. As a mother, I can live with the hope my daughter will find a way back to the bright light in her eyes. If not that, she is being afforded the opportunity to heal with the caring support from her friends, the horses, and Stacie and Brenda.

B.K.R. – mother of 7 year old

*not her real name

 

Kera's Story

Our little miracle came to us after nine years of trying both adoption and infertility treatments. She wasn't perfect born the daughter of two drug addicted teen-aged gang members. At eight and a half months she began a long journey of severe physical health problems. She was also diagnosed at an early age with early onset Bipolar Disorder with psychotic tendencies, Attention Deficit Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Once she started school she was also diagnosed with the learning disability of dyslexia. Kera's disorders left her frustrated most of the time and caused her to exhibit extremely violent mood swings. To our family, Kera was and is the answer to many years of praying, our hero, and our perfect child with many obstacles to overcome. However, a recent stay at a psychiatric hospital prompted a social worker to tell us that she was threat to our safety and that of others and needed to be locked away for life in a residential facility.

Tearfully trying to preserve our little family and somehow keep our family intact we began a search in the yellow pages for a second opinion. Between the blurred pages one name stood out Stacie Y. Stoltz, LCSW, H.O.R.S.E. To our amazement Stacie and Brenda listened to all we shared and Kera actually opened up to them on her first visit. Kera shared with us for the first time events that happened during therapy and began opening up to others. She was for the first time sleeping through the night with out awakening with nightmares. When she was frustrated with a subject like Math or writing a story or journal writing Kera began to utilize problem solving strategies taught at H.O.R.S.E. Kera fell in love with a Paint horse she rides at H.O.R.S.E. named Scout and while on vacation in South Dakota she even trotted on a horse in the mountains!

Major accomplishments happened during the summer months! Kera showed off her grooming skills at the Pet Expo and explained the program to a news reporter. She was able to make two friends and attend Vacation Bible School without her mother having to teach in the same room or sit next to her the entire time! For the first time Kera was able to run to her mother and share what had happened to her when the neighborhood girls pretended to be her friend, lured her in one of their backyards and made fun of her. We had our first real conversation and it felt wonderful. Stacie and Brenda noticed things about Kera that may even eventually change her diagnosis.

H.O.R.S.E. is the “Horse Whisperer” for children: It is a phenomenal program that steps in when clinical settings, special educators, and traditional therapy programs have failed. H.O.R.S.E is a child friendly, safe environment that promotes the love and fascination with these animals and their ability to sense and react to our own temperaments and moods in order to help us adjust our own behaviors, learn better strategies for problem solving, better communication skills, and create a better life overall. For children like our only daughter Kera —H.O.R.S.E. is their last resort, their only hope, and their best ally! We cannot praise this program enough except to end with telling you what H.O.R.S.E means to our little family of three.

HORSE = HELP!

HORSE = HOPE

HORSE = HAPPILY PRESERVED FAMILIES

We thank you Stacie, Brenda, the Board and all who make H.O.R.S.E. possible!

Sincerely,

Brian, Gwen, and Kera Zumalt

 

*Sally's Story

Our daughter came to us through foster/adopt just after she turned 12 and had been in several foster homes within 3 months. Her background includes a lot of neglect, abuse and being shuffled between relatives practically from birth until age six. Our daughter, Sally, was then separated from her sisters at a young age and eventually adopted by relatives, where the abuse and dysfunctional behavior continued. The summer after fifth grade she confided in a friend and was immediately taken into foster care.

While in foster care, prior to our home, several therapists identified a history of hyperactivity and oppositional. Sally was traumatized by her early history and this manifested in her dysfunctional behavior had difficulty coping with even minor setbacks and conflicts; and had a competitive approach to family relationships and emotional distances towards others.

After coming to live with my husband and myself, Sally spent a year with a talk therapist and made some progress, but continued to be resistant to going. She just knew that she was different and didn't fit in with most kids. We did a few months of family talk therapy sessions but found that we came back to the same problems each month. Our daily interactions were stressful, distant and required constant supervision to keep her safe.

We had originally heard about HORSE from Stacie Stolz in a panel on foster parenting resources during our foster parenting training. Then my daughter and I saw her at a booth during a local event and Sally was interested.

She has seen Stacie and Brenda weekly in the HORSE program for over a year now. This program has helped improve her self esteem, confidence and processing skills. She is learning that rules have reasons and breaking those rules results in natural consequences. Stacie and Brenda deal with the kids in a direct, no-nonsense but supportive way. They have helped us deal with situations when daily living with Sally was your worst roller coaster ride. They provided advice about how to deal with different problems and situations and also addressed these in her HORSE sessions. She went from hating her sessions to hating to miss a session and volunteering for 4 hours every week.

Now we're a family dealing with a not-so-typical teenager. She smiles more, is not usually suspicious, no longer has nightmares, usually abides by the rules we've established, has learned to ask for what she wants in a direct manner, and usually shares information about how she's feeling. Her ability to tolerate frustration continues to improve, along with being able to think of alternatives and options available to her. She is more willing to try new things.

Stacie has focused the HORSE therapy on the issues she and we, as a family, are facing each week. As Sally becomes more confident and able to confront problems, Stacie has helped her evaluate whether certain behaviors are working for or against her. Stacie and Brenda do an excellent job of holding Sally accountable for her actions during her HORSE sessions and while volunteering for HORSE. They understand teenagers and life. The HORSE program is helping our teenager learn how to better handle life appropriately so that she can determine and influence her own future.

L.W. – mother of 14 year old girl

*not her real name